Crazy Birthday Weekend Four

Date
October 13-18, 1998

Visitors

Matt Berry
Shawn Meehan
Matt Morgan
Jen Norris

Home

Jim Miceli
Bill Beschorner
Grant Ramsey
Taylor Perdue
Heather Bredeman

Tuesday, October 13

I spent most of the day at work bouncing off the walls with excitement. Finally my persecution would end and I would be able to drink. I was supposed to meet Shawn after work and he would drive me to lovely Blacksburg, where the week of drunkeness would ensue. I left work and went home, where he was to meet me. I then waited for what seemed like hours. Finally Shawn arove. He came with string cheese, his Mom's gift to me. That made me infinitely happy. We took off towards Tech. Immediately after leaving, I had to piss. This involved an intense inner struggle, since I didn't want to delay our journey. We eventually stoped at Sheetz, and I have never been so relieved. The rest of our journey went without incident, and we mostly talked about wich girls I would not be hooking up with.

As 12:00 was approaching, we were in Blacksburg, but not quite to our destination of Bill and Jim's apartment. I really wanted to be there by 12:00, since at that time I would be 21. When his clock said 11:58pm, and I was sure all hope was lost, Shawn said to me, "Remeber my clock is 5 minutes fast" Those are the sweetest words he has ever said to me. We went through Bill and Jim's door just as midnight hit. There we drank a beer, and then went to Big Al's.

At Big Al's we drank a few pitchers, and smoked a few cigarrettes. Bill bought me a shot of tequila. But really nothing of consequence happened. Bill and Jim did have class the next day. We went back to their apartment, and slept.

Wednesday, October 14 (My 21st birthday)

I awoke and realized, I'm 21, my childhood is over, and I can drink, drink, drink. I was pleased. Shawn and I dined at Slavokis for lunch, where we enjoyed gyros. We then walked over to Grant's and talked to him for a bit and learned that unfortunately, he would not be joining us that night. Grant presented me with a cd, The Wedding Singer Soundtrack Part Two. We went back to Jim's, and Shawn then had to return to Maryland, as he had work the next day. Bill and Jim also could not go out, because of class. But no fear my friends, I would not be spemding my birthday alone, because Taylor and Heather were taking me out. What could be better?

Well, as it turns out, it wasn't all that good, because Nate, the boy Heather was seeing, was also coming along. Fortunatley Taylor's boyfriend was hundreds of miles away. But unfortunately, he did exist. So Taylor and Heather and I drank beers and took shots, and we played fuse ball, which apparently Taylor and Heather are really good at, don't ask me how. I got sloppy, as it was my right to being my birthday. Right before we left I ran into Justin, I guy who lived next to me Freshman year. I informed him that it was my 21st irthday, and he informed me that he was buying me a shot. I not sure what it was, but it didn't taste very good.

Then we left, and Nate dropped Taylor and I off at Bill and Jim's. I think we tried to drink a beer there, but it didn't work out very well. I'm not sure what we talked about, but I'm pretty sure it involved me begging for sex. She left, I vomited loudly, and for the 7670th night in a row, I didn't get laid.

Thursday, October 15

Thursday was a relatively unexciting day. Kind of a rest-up day for the weekend. Bill and I went to La Guadeloupe's for dinner, where we enjoyed Mexican food and very strong margaritas. We got back to the apartment, and drank beers and watched movies. I think it was Me, Jim, Bill, Taylor and Grant. No one got especially drunk, and not too much craziness occurred.

Friday, October 16 (The scar story)

I awoke on the couch to the sound of Jim's car returning from class. I knew that meant Jim was also returing, so I got up and started wondering around the kitchen. I'm not sure why. Jim came in and said, "We're going to Top of the Stairs, Taylor's working." I was still in a daze, but I got dressed and into Jim's car. On the way over there I thought to myself how only a few minutes ago I was in a completely different world, and that I hadn't quite recovered from the transition yet. As you will see, I wouldn't all day long.

Top of the Stairs. 1:00 pm. Jim and I sat outside and Taylor took our orders. I ordered a chicken sandwich, curly fries, and Jim and I both ordered Bud Light. Those came first, making beer the first thing I consumed that day. I ate my sandwich and fries (yum) and we then got another round of beers. Then we said bye to Taylor and started back to the car.

Suddenly Nate jumps out of nowhere. He reveals that nowhere is actually Preston's where he and Grant are eating lunch. We must come in he says. So we do, because Nate is very large. Inside Grant is stuffing his fat, and the four of talk for a bit. Jim has to go off to some group meeting, so we decide I'll get a ride back to Bill and Jim's from Nate. Nate drops me off, and I quickly discover that the door is locked and I have no key. So I walk back over to Grant's. There I talk to Grant for a bit, but I quickly discover that he is not drinking. So I decide the only thing for me to do at this point is to return to Top of the Stairs.

Top of the Stairs. 2:30 pm. Taylor is basically working alone, which means I get to drink whatever I want. So I order a rum and coke. Then another, then another. During this time I'm watching the TV and smoking some cigarettes. I also am listening to the people around me. It seems there's a strange beer at the end of the tap, with a blue label. People seem to like it. Kind of dark. Eventually more people employees show up, so Taylor can't bring me anymore free drinks. I decide to buy one last rum and coke, four for one ain't bad. It's about 4:00, so Jim should be back. So I take off.

But I don't go to Jim's. I decide instead to go visit the Aerospace building to see if anyone I know is around. But this late on Friday no one is there. Except for one of my professors. I didn't want to talk to him, because I'm a little drunk and I'm sure I reak of rum. But he spotted me. So we chat for a bit about my fun in co-oping, and I try not to breathe directly at him. I doubt it helped. Then I leave and walk back over to Taylor's.

Taylor's 5:00. I walk inside and hear, "Nevermind, he just walked in." Apparently Taylor was on the phone with Jim and they were wondering what ditch I had passed out in. I explained that I had just talked to my professor, at which point Heather came out of the kitchen and said "You reak" I wasn't surprised. Heather was cooking dinner, but not for me. So instead she asked me if I wanted a drink. "Yeah!" was my reply. "Water?" "Do you have anything stronger?" "Do you want wine?" "Yes!" So I drank two glasses of wine while they ate their dinner, and then I ate their leftover mash potatoes and stuffing (yum yum). Then it was time to return to Jim and Bill's.

Jim and Bill's. 6:00. Enter Matt Morgan. Immediately upon entering Bill and Jim's I see Matt Morgan's fat waiting for me on the couch. Jen also showed up at this point. I must shower, so I do that as quickly as possible. Then we drink another beer or two before heading back downtown. Bill and Jen do not join us, as Jen is 19.

Big Al's. 8:00. Big Al's mostly involved Jim, Matt, Taylor, Heather, and I drinking pitcher after pitcher of cheap beer. Occasionally a shot would be thrown into the mix. Matt did present me with a glass of blue liquid, which I enjoyed fully. Big Al's was crowded though, and it's not too big (Certainly not as big as Al) so we decided to go somewhere else. Of course that meant going back to Top of the Stairs.

Downtown Blacksburg. 11:55. Though it's a short walk from Big Al's to TOTS, we all managed to split up. I found myself walking with Matt Morgan. He mentioned having to pee, and I shared his feeling, so we decided to use the bathroom in Squires (across the street from TOTS), instead of waiting until we got in.

Squires Student Center. 11:58. Matt and I have no idea where the bathrooms in Squires are. This presents a problem as we really need to use one. We pass a women's room, but there is no men's room to accompany it. So we continue our quest. We then pass another women's room, again with no men's room in sight. The obvious conclusion is that Squires only has women's rooms so we must use one. The place was completely deserted, so there was no danger of being caught. In fact the only way anyone would ever no we did it is if one of us were to print that information on the internet. So I'm sure we're safe. Anyhow, we urinated without incident, and preceded to exit Squires. But on the way out we pass an ATM machine, and for some reason I decide to withdraw $100. Then we went back over to TOTS.

Outside Top of the Stairs (ie The Bottom of the Stairs) 12:08am. There is a very long line to get into TOTS. Jim, Heather, and Taylor are already inside, because Taylor works there. I have no plan on waiting in the line. I tell Matt to follow me, walk to the front of the line, and walk right in. Matt is surprised that this worked, but frankly I'm too drunk to even think it shouldn't have. So we precede up the stairs.

Top of the Stairs. 12:10 am. TOTS is also extremely crowded, and I'm wasted. Matt starts talking to some people as soon as we walk in, so I decide to order drinks for the two of us. So I walked up to the bar and say "I want two larges of that blue thing on the end." Somehow the bartender understood what I meant and I was presented with two ginormous cups completely filled with beer. So I walk back over to where I left Matt Morgan and find that he has disappeared. I do a couple laps around the bar to look for him, but this is difficult while holding two full beers as drunk as I am. So I spill a bit. Finally I find that Matt is hiding outside. Taylor, Jim and Heather are with him, so I present Matt his beer and sit next to Taylor. At this point I pretty much concentrate on trying to finish the huge beer in front of me. I phazed out the rest of the world. I noticed that Jim left at one point. Taylor and I might have talked a bit. Eventually I realize that I have to leave or I'm going to pass out. Matt's still talking to some strange people I've never seen before, so I say bye to him and leave.

Planet Earth (I think) sometime. Memory is sketchy here. As I left TOTS I saw Brigitte, who lived above me last year. We probably talked. Somehow I got all the way to Bill and Jim's without anything happening. I don't know how.

Bill and Jim's. I opened the door to their apartment and I see Taylor sprawled out on the couch talking on the phone. Jim is passed out on the other couch. This really surprises me because I thought Taylor was still at the bar. I take a step forward, and start to fall over. What happened in the next few seconds is still a mystery, but when it was over I was on the floor, and my back had a huge gauge in it that was bleeding badly. I'm in pain. I manage to crawl on the couch. Taylor is completely oblivious to my plight, and is still chattering away. I ask her who she's talking to, and her reply is Shannon. This surprises me even more, since it means that Taylor has made a long distance phone call from Jim and Bill's while they're passed out. Matt Morgan comes in a little later, and asks Taylor for her keys. She gives them to him, and he leaves for a little bit. When he comes back he explains to me that he had to park Taylor's car. Apparently Taylor had just pulled up outside of Bill and Jim's and stopped driving, blocking three cars in. Then she went inside, saw that noone was awake, so she started making long distance phone calls. At least that's the scenario Matt and I imagined. The two of us wanted to get pizza, but Taylor absolutely would not get off the phone. This only added to our theory that Taylor had gone crazy. So the two of instead ate all of Jim's Hot Pockets. I showed Matt my wound, and he was very impressed. Eventually, Taylor got off the phone, and we all passed out.

Saturday, October 17

I woke up and my back hurt. A lot. I could hardly move. There was a sizeable blood stain on my t-shirt. The wound was at least a foot long. I showed it off to everyone else, and they were all curious as to how it happened. Taylor had no memory of my fall, as I expected. We tried to re-create the scene, each of doing reanactments and presenting our theories. No one could get it quite right.

Immediately after we got up we ordered pizza. Matt reminded me that I had $100 in my wallet, which I was surprised to learn, so I bought the pizza. The homecoming game was that day, and we weren't going, as only Matt Morgan had a ticket. And since we were only playing Temple, and the game obviously wasn't going to be exciting at all, it wasn't televised. So we rented some movies and bought some beer. But as we watched the movie the score of the game would occasionally flash on the other TV, which was tuned to another football game. Of course we were winning, so it wasn't a big deal. But a frightening thing happened during the third quarter. We started losing. This upset us greatly. During the last few plays we were huddled in Jim's room listening on the radio. We lost. We suck. Oh well, time to drink. Nate was having a party, so we went to that. It was a typical Nate party, hundreds of people I don't know. But Grant finally came out that night, so I got to drink with him at long last. But, all good things must come to end, and that includes kegs. So we left Nate's and returned back to the safety of Bill and Jim's. We went to bed, and the weekend was over. The next day Jen and I went back to Maryland, and on Monday I was back in work.

Afterward

Later I learned the truth about Taylor's activities. Apparently, she did leave TOTS before me on Friday, and is not a witch like I thought when I first saw her on the couch. Apparently she and Heather left while I was in my own little world (ie passed out.) She then went to her place, was dissatisfied there, and drove to Bill and Jim's without bothering to park. Meanwhile, Shannon called Taylor at her place, but Taylor was not there. Heather redirected Shannon to Jim's, and that's why Taylor was talking to her. Taylor did not make the phone call as I originally suspected.

Those of you who better remember any of the above should send me e-mail.